Handkerchief

My life, a handkerchief,

Spotted in pain

Soaked in sadness.

The edges lined in

Optimism, hope, courage

Holes, empty, in the fabric

Each spot telling,

Sharing and explaining,

A story, a tale.

The folds, scars, of past

Never forgetting the bad

Because life moves forward, not back.

Sitting in my pocket,

Catching lessons

Never letting go.

The stability of life,

Building memories,

Remembering friends.

The people in our lives

Can do so much,

So i keep them safe.

Warm and close to my heart

To cherish forever

Always there to learn from.

Up, Out, Away, Free

Colors, blur, movement,

Nothing real to see

Can't tell, where is

Down, where is

UP.

Voices, faces, books

Words across pages,

I'm hurting.

Screaming for a way

OUT.

Learning, forgetting,

Never regretting,

I need a break before,

Stop me from running

AWAY.

Underwater, slow motion,

Life is routine, not

Interesting for me

I need to be

FREE.

Clouds, nature,

Calm oceans and seas,

Something solid,

Spontaneous, give me my

HOT AIR BALLOON.

Happy Sweet Sixteen Sis!

Cake, candles, wrapping paper

Memories captured forever,

Constantly flowing through

Your mind.

Today is special,

One of a kind,

Super Sweet Sixteen,

One in your life.

You better party,

Hard and long :)

Blast the music,

Bring the house down.

Spend time with family,

Some with friends,

I'll miss you so much

On this very special day.

I wish I could be there,

Knock on your door,

Bring you a smile

Color and more.

I'm sorry I have band,

But celebrate away.

Today is a special day:

It's your day!!!

Happy Birthday Sister,

Make today the best,

And never ever forget

I love you forever and always!

Hot Air Balloon

Do you remember,

When the skies were blue,

The grass always green,

Just you and me,

Mom and dad too.

The quiet days,

Careless, problem free,

No worries, days drifting by,

Minuets and hours,

One at a time.

I long for those days,

A few seconds of peace,

Not much to think about,

An empty mind:

Problems far behind.

Fly with me

In my hot air balloon.

Growing up is what I've longed for,

The goal since I was small,

College, a job,

Building my own world,

My dream, a reality.

Why am I so scared?

Want to go back,

Would give everything

To live in a child's world,

Just to catch a glimpse.

I want it to go away:

The problems, ignorance,

Stupidity in the world,

Don't want to know

No need for its existence.

Fly with me

In my hot air balloon.

Give me the clouds,

The chirping birds,

Rustles in the wind,

Laughs and giggles,

Summertime, spring.

Take away the darkness,

Don't show me,

I don't need the tears,

The hatred and immorality,

Take them away!

If you can't,

Let me be there for you,

I really do love you,

More then anything,

Let me protect you.

Fly with me

In my hot air balloon.

You don't know this

Horrible world.

To young to understand,

But talk to me, let me.

Just let me be there for you.

Let's go back to those times,

Freedom and happiness,

Innocence and love,

Without the evils,

Leave corruption behind.

I will hold your hand

If you hold mine.

Side by side, together,

Everything finally

Aligned.

Fly with me

In my hot air balloon.

Soar through the sky,

View the world from above,

Only the beauty of the world below,

The peacefulness and optimism,

Imaginations running wild.

Everything in life is beautiful,

One must view if from the right angle,

And everything will be fine.

In the moment the angle is above,

Far away from the terrors and horrors.

The only escape to the world,

My only way out,

The seconds of joy in my day,

Come with me and I'll show you

Tell you how to fly away.

Fly with me

In my hot air balloon.

You and me,

Finally forgetting it all

Saving us both from insanity.

A Game and Gamble

Feelings, pulling, twisting
Never stable, open a vein
The rush, exodus, delicious
Watch the red flow.

I feel as if I'm in the closet,
Itching to break out, not knowing
Hiding from outside,
A mask, hard to take off.

How can I be
Homesick, when I
Don't have a home?
Nothing real to go to.

Itching to be myself,
Let the whole world know.
I have a secret, I can't control
I need to tell you now.

Sometimes I think:
The rest of the world
wouldn't miss me at all
They don't know me

So how can you miss,
A stranger, faint,
Invisible, walking,
talking, breathing

A shadow, no more,
Too much going down,
Hard enough, just surviving.

Getting through a day.

When all choice is taken,
Torn out of your hands,
Life becomes a game.
The game of survival.

What ever helps you cope,
For me it was pain,
Might still be, different
Kinds, ways to get through.

I look up, try to
Find a rainbow, but
The only thing there
Is a lone cloud.

I want that rainbow,
Need to hold on.
Rainbows and blood,
Go hand in hand for me.

Neither are my enemy.
Because life, and maybe death,
Will always be
A gamble after all.


***I wrote this poem but the BOLD phrases and words are quotes from Tricks by Ellen Hopkins (c) 2009 I give her full credit for her work. The words do not appear in the book in the same order I used them and some of the grammar and/or context might be changed. I added my own words (those not in bold) and arranged the phrases I am using from her book.

Little Things Matter

The way:

Ice cream drips,

Melting just before you put it in your mouth,

Liquefying enough to taste the full flavor,

Savoring every lick one by one.

The sun twinkles,

Hitting the hills behind Foothill,

Shinning from the right angle.

Producing a landscape so captivating.

My friends laugh,

Giving me this indescribable energy,

Forever there for me,

Creating memories for life.

The fog rolls in,

Covering the land,

Spots of green here and there

Becoming my inspiration.

The warm hugs from my sister,

(Ones I'm always looking forward to)

Never let me forget the past,

Reminding how I got through.

The slow, fluid motion of the trees,

Always changes, direction and shape,

Molding, moving, towards the sun,

Becoming the background of existence.

The pictures remind,

How far I've come,

Moments that make life special.

Remembering them all.

The leaves fall and flowers grow,

Keeping track of the seasons.

With hues of blue and red,

Coloring the streets.

The surprises in life,

Jump out of nowhere,

Astonishing everyone around

Encouraging me to live on.

Little things in life stack up,

Changing emotions, perspectives,

Giving life a glow,

Showing me glimpses of perfection.

You

Don't even start,

Don't tell me about your flaws,

How you don't like

the way your hair falls.

I don't want to hear

That you think your crazy.

Don't need a sorry after

You bump into me.

That touch lingers,

Stays on my skin,

I remember,

Don't apologize.

Don't tell me not to judge you,

I never do,

I couldn't, not in a bad way

Never you.

You may only think your

Flawed and weak

I'll tell you the truth,

The world may think so too.

To me it doesn't matter,

They are only jealous.

You are a mirror image of

Perfection, yes that's you.